onemuseleft

Finished episode three of Lost Tomb! I love the sets on this show, the tomb aesthetic really speaks to me :)

Notes:

1) Wu Xie angsts beautifully. We knew he would.
2) I feel like people controlling the thunder should be a Big Deal but I have a feeling it won't be.
3) SIR. WHERE IS YOUR SHIRT?
4) I have absolutely figured out how I would make this a Guardian AU.
5) I am living for the moment Wang Pangzi finds out about the cancer, oh my god, forget the plot I just need that so much.

I want to watch more Guardian but 1) the last episode left me really cold and 2) I know what's coming so I keep trying to put it off. Like the ending will be any less tragic if I just never watch it?

Okay, so I just watched 27 and 28 and I don't know what to do with the cafe scene. I'd gone with the assumption that Zhao Xinci didn't know the BCE's identity, but apparently he does? And he's been meeting with the guy, possibly reporting on ZYL to him, behind ZYL's back all this time? Like, this is the one secret he's been keeping that I'm having a hard time justifying. It just screams of a lack of respect?

And it makes his three year absence all the more confusing then. So he worked with ZXC, told him his identity, tolerated him hunting Dixingren like dogs - but the second ZYL takes over he bails entirely and doesn't look back long enough to even get a glimpse of the guy? What the hell? I'd been working on the idea that he left during the change of command because he couldn't stomach the SID's methods anymore and took the disruption as an opportunity to remove himself from it, but this kind of throws that out the window?

The fact that there's no follow up to this, to ZYL and SW's conversation afterwards, is possibly the most frustrating thing in the world. ZYL's clearly feeling betrayed - his words to Lin Jing are very clearly meant for himself as well, but it feels like Shen Wei's got nothing? He mostly just stood there in silence, which, I get it, is kind of his default but holy shit, dude.

The fact that the Ministry evidently knows who he is just makes it worse, too, when I remember ZYL risking his carreer to cover for him at the wedding with Gao.

I just... the look on his face when he saw them together. His voice when he said he thought they were friends, that he's made the choice to trust Shen Wei over and over... I know he's choosing to do it again, but damn. I wish we'd gotten to see them really have it out, I wish we'd gotten some answers aside from "I've been talking to him behind your back because I knew you wouldn't like it"

“I think I’m in love with Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan said, the words punched out of him like he’d been punched, the realization of it coming over him, leaving him weirdly buzzed and dizzy like when his blood sugar gets too low. “Shit. I think I’m in love with Shen Wei.”

“Uh-huh,” Da Qing said without looking up from his paperwork. Half a stick of dried squid is hanging out of his mouth.

Zhao Yunlan kicks him in the shins. “This is a life-changing realization here, you damn cat.”

“Yeah, and it’s one everyone else had three months ago.”

Oh my god, episode 24 though.

So much smirking. Zhao Yunlan is such a bitch when he's angry, I love it.

They need to go home, yell at each other a little and have a great deal of life-affirming sex.

Things that pop into my head at 2am:

- Zhao Yunlan getting Shen Wei's name drunk tattooed on him somewhere while he's away for the weekend.

- Shen Wei likes to mark Zhao Yunlan up during sex, but 1) he's very deliberate about it so it gets intense and 2) he feels vaguely guilty for liking it so much.

- I'm super into the mutal assured destruction thing these two have going on, where one will not outlive the other, and I find myself just wanting to kill one of them to make the other one sad. It's a mood, apparently.

I'm entertained, but not particularly suprised, by how many people had opinions on what Shen Wei's favorite lollipop flavor should be. ^_^

In other news, I actually wrote something last night so I feel a little better about it all. The Courtship fic is almost done, and I'm working on a Quarantine fic for the lockdown fest (not COVID-19 related, just influenza with a Dixing twist). Once I finish that there's a laundry list of WIPs I want to start working my way through, maybe try to post something more regularly. I always feel better when I actually finish a story. Having too many WIPs stresses me out.

And yet. *side-eyes the wip file*

I've been working on this silly fic for a few weeks now that's basically just Zhao Yunlan trying to court Shen Wei a little so he doesn't feel unappreciated or taken for granted. I estimated it would be three or four thousand words, so of course today we hit the 15,000 mark.

****

“I brought you a present,” he said, and pulled his hand out from behind his back.

The bouquet of lollipops looked even less creative than it had fifteen minutes ago in the Jeep, but it didn’t look bad. Not really a suitable declaration of undying love or anything, but a sweet surprise.

Shen Wei seemed pleased by it, at least, which was entirely the point. He reached out with both hands to take it from Zhao Yunlan, and he examined it with a soft, pleased smile that Zhao Yunlan didn’t get to see very often. He looked almost shy as he ran a finger over the ribbons Zhao Yunlan had used to tie it together, pulling the curled string over his finger as if he’d never seen such a thing before. Or as if no one had given him a gift before, Zhao Yunlan thought with a pang. He wondered if anyone had. Shen Wei’s family had died before the war, his brother was - well, his brother was Ye Zun, his men had looked up to him as an unapprochable hero, and he had precious few friends outside the SID. When was the last time someone gave him any kind of a gift at all? Zhao Yunlan couldn’t think of a single thing he’d given Shen Wei that would count as a gift, and aside from the little cakes that his students occaisionally bestowed upon him, he’d never seen Shen Wei open a present. And the cakes usually went to Zhao Yunlan, or the SID anyway.

His heart ached to see Shen Wei hold that dumb lollipop bouquet as if it were something special.

Title: Presumed Dead
Author: Nightwalker/Onemuseleft/I don’t know whatever you want to call me is cool.
WARNING: There are spoilers for IM3 here, pretty massive ones and also some smaller ones for Cap 2 (based solely on gifs I’ve seen, but still) Also, if you haven't seen the movie and want to read this anyway, please be warned of implied main character death.
Summary: The Mandarin’s attack on Malibu was broadcasting live. Millions watched while Iron Man fell; it’s only reasonable to assume some of them were his friends. This is Steve’s reaction to watching the attack on the Malibu house.
Beta: Thanks Amaronith, for the quick and dirty beta read!
Universe: MCU

On AO3
On Tumblr

Everyone, go read this: Five Times Steve Hugged Tony and One Time Tony Returned the Favor

It's my gift fic from the CapIronMan Fic Exchange and it is ADORABLE.