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"Okay, we're going to plan B."
"...Burn things?"
"No! ...Oh, wait. That is plan B. Right, sorry - we're going to plan C."
"...Run away?"
"No, that was the old plan C."
"We have a new plan C?"
"Yeah - see what you miss when you don't come to the meetings?"
"So what's the new plan C?"
"Grab the oldest looking one with the weirdest outfit. That's probably their leader - or, at the very least, someone who probably knows what's going on."
-Yuusuke and Kuwabara

****

"Holy crap you guys think too much. Thinking! All the damned time! About stuff you can't change! There's only one person on my team that thinks: Kurama. That's his job."
"No it's not!"
-Yuusuke (to the Buffy crew) and Kurama

****

April had been going on all morning about how much she loved crisp autumn days. Raphael and Leo, huddled under blankets and cradling two mugs of coffee had ignored her rapture as the obvious delusions of a hot-blooded mammal and firmly tuned her out when she started talking about a picnic.

"She has a point," Donnie had said, snagging Leo's coffee and downing half of it in one long gulp.

Leo glared at him.

"Point?" Raphael had asked, not because he really cared, but because it wasn't a good idea to ignore Donnie when he tried to involve you in something. Next thing you knew he'd programmed the television to kill or turned the microwave into a Land Rover and that was the sort of thing you really, really didn't want to find out about by mistake.

****

"Really," Yuusuke said in as annoyed a voice as any Kurama had ever heard him use. "If Koenma wanted to humiliate me to death, he didn't have to go to quite this much trouble."

****

"Hey! What did I tell you about interfering in other people's vendettas? Bad demon! No cookie for you!"
-Yuusuke, to Hiei

****

Yuusuke couldn't think of a suitable retort, so he fell back on his default solution: violence.

****

The problem with Shizuru was not that she was a chain-smoking, hard-assed, mind-reading bitch - those were good qualities as far as Kuwabara was concerned. The problem was that she was his sister.

****

"My chosen form of non-conformity is in refusing to conform to the conformity of the non-comformists."
-Deathgod02

****

"The woods? But there could be wolves! And bandits! And... wolves!"
"Wolves? In this part of the forest you're more likely to die of exposure."
"You're not helping."
-Treize and Zechs

****

"It's hard to be supportive of a relationship that you think was spawned by the devil."

****

"Hope. Hope that lingers like a dead hamster in your heart."
-Kelly and Laura

****

Nearly twenty years after the event, Yuusuke walks into Genkai's shrine and smells Kuwabara's cigarettes, and his heart freezes.

But it's not his Kuwabara. It's Shizuru, because his Kuwabara always snitched his sister's cigarettes before he was old enough to buy them, and then kept right on doing the same thing, long after he was of age.

****

"...You gave Hiei coffee, didn't you?"
"Yeah. I'm guessing that's bad."
"Well, apart from the fact that Hiei is so wired normally that giving him coffee is a little redundant, caffeine is a mild poison for demons the way alcohol is a mild poison for humans - only the effects are more varied and tend to last longer."
"But - you drink tea and soda all the time!"
"Yes, well. I'm human. In body, anyway. But, it shouldn't be a problem. One cup is a fairly mild dose. It's not like he drank an entire...pot... That terrified expression isn't really doing much for my confidence."
"Um."
"He drank an entire pot!?"
"Well... it's actually... a little more than that..."
"Why?"
"Well... Kuwabara challenged him to it."
"...ah."
-Kurama and Yuusuke

****

"This is not good. This is so not good. This is the opposite of good."
"...Bad?"
-Yuusuke and Kuwabara

****

"Oh my tiny god. Did my life just get weirder? ...Holy shit! It did! I thought that was a mathematical impossibility."
-Yuusuke

****

"Should we help him?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should ask. YUUSUKE! DO YOU NEED HELP?"
"FUCK YOU!!"
"No. I think he's good."
-Kurama, Kuwabara and Yuusuke

****

Evil, Muraki told himself sternly as he pushed through the crowd of late shoppers. I am evil, he repeated to fortify himself against the pervasive sense of Good Cheer that seemed to have permeated the city of Tokyo. I am evil. But as he passed a display of hip-wiggling, singing Santas in the window of a store, he stopped to stare. But those... those are more evil.

****

"Kurama, Hiei kissed you. Hiei kissed you. Hiei! Hiei kissed you!"
"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch it. Perhaps it you say it a few dozen more times alternating between various pitches and tonality, and throw in some funny accents, I'll understand you better."
"It's not so much the boy-kissing-boy thing. It's the Hiei-kissing-Kurama thing. I just... I can't see Hiei kissing anyone. Except now I can see him kissing Kurama. Over and over. In my head. Someone please beat me until I pass out."
-Yuusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara

****