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Dear (insert customer name here),
I am so terribly sorry that the evil hurricane was created by God and my bookstore solely for the purpose of inconveniencing you.
Had I realized that my bookstore had that sort of power, rest assured, I would have had the hurricane level your house.
However, since this plot to inconvenience you (which we hatched) means that there is no running water in the city of Richmond - which also means that there is no coffe ANYWHERE IN THE GODDAMN WEST END - the situation is, in fact, entirely our fault, and I should apologize.
NOT.
The thing I can't stand about Richmond is that everyone goes insane everytime things are less than perfect. Starbucks is closed? Dear God! Man the lifeboats!
I am so terribly sorry that the evil hurricane was created by God and my bookstore solely for the purpose of inconveniencing you.
Had I realized that my bookstore had that sort of power, rest assured, I would have had the hurricane level your house.
However, since this plot to inconvenience you (which we hatched) means that there is no running water in the city of Richmond - which also means that there is no coffe ANYWHERE IN THE GODDAMN WEST END - the situation is, in fact, entirely our fault, and I should apologize.
NOT.
The thing I can't stand about Richmond is that everyone goes insane everytime things are less than perfect. Starbucks is closed? Dear God! Man the lifeboats!
