Five Things responses Part 2

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For kahn



Five Things Hiei Never Said To Kurama

1) Hiei has considered asking Kurama to return to the Makai with him, to rebuild his old gang and show the demon world how it's really done. He doesn't because he knows Kurama will just look at him with a little smile and treat it all like a joke, and once Kurama actually tells him no, Hiei will have no excuse to stay and try to talk him into it. No one changes Kurama's mind. So instead he keeps silent and wait for the right moment, knowing it will probably never come.

2) Demons do not love. There are those amongst them who can grasp the concepts of loyalty and respect. Some, such as Kurama, even allow themselves to become… friends with others. Hiei had never had much experience with any of those emotions, until he ambushed a powerful demon disguised as a young human boy. Now he knows why such concepts can be so binding even amongst his kind.

He toys with the idea of calling it love, but he's never been the kind of fool who deludes himself.

3) "All I'm saying is that you'd be much less noticeable if you'd just cut your hair and dye it. They're going to pick you out of the crowd from a mile away."

4) Kurama speaks of his mother in such glowing and adoring terms, that Hiei expected nothing less than a powerful mother-deity or earth goddess who'd descended to Earth in human form just to bear Kurama's battered soul back into existence. Shiori herself is something of a disappointment; frail, old, weak. She smells like decaying cells and wasted time.

5) Kurama doesn't understand why Hiei won't reveal himself to Yukina. Hiei doesn't understand why Kurama can't see it for himself. Yukina is sweet and gentle. She's kind. She has never harmed anyone. She is as good as a demonic being can be, and he is not. It's better that she not see that the brother she spent so much time searching for is nothing more than a criminal, the same as those who held and tortured her for years.

He wants Kurama to stop pushing him toward her. He wants Kurama to let it go.

Because as long as Kurama fights him on this, there's the chance that Kurama is right.





Five Things Batman and Superman Will Never Do If Locked In a Small Room Together (Possibly Because It Would Be Nearly Impossible To Trap ONE of Them in a Small Room, Let Alone Both)


1) "We were just, uh – practicing the watusi!"

At times, Bruce wondered how Clark had ever managed to maintain his secret identity for as long as he had when he couldn't tell a lie to save his life. "Tim?"

The boy looks like he's enjoying himself way too much. "Yes, Bruce?"

"Patrol in Bludhaven. Now."

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon."

"Shouldn't you be in school or something?" Clark asked.

"It's July," Tim replied with a smirk as he turned to leave the study.

2) Superman had already gone over every inch of space with his x-ray vision, searching for any means of escape, but he couldn't even find the seam where the door had been. Whatever made this room was of a technology more advanced than what they were used to. But he let Batman prowl around for a couple of hours anyway, poking and prodding at the walls, floors and ceiling, because Batman really was the detective of the group and he was a lot better at getting out of traps than… well, than any of them actually. Even Manhunter, and the Martian could turn intangible.

Besides, it'll burn off some of his nervous energy so that when he finally admits that they're trapped and can do nothing but wait, he'll be less likely to take his annoyance out on Superman. Sometimes bantering with Batman could be fun, but a Batman with nowhere to stalk off and nurse his bad mood is a Batman who forgets to occasionally pull his punches, verbal and otherwise, with his friends.

Sometimes, Superman can't decide if he pities or admires Nightwing and Robin. They live with the guy.

"We’re trapped," Batman announces with the grim fatality of a man announcing his own demise. "We can only wait for our captors to come back."

"Or," Superman says, deliberately dragging the word out, "we can wait for our teammates to rescue us."

Batman's total lack of response says what he thinks of that option. Superman stretches and leans forward to clasp his hands between his knees. "Listen, Batman, while we're here."

Superman's gotten pretty good at reading through the mantle and he's almost positive that what he's seeing is absolute and complete panic.

"Maybe we should talk about our feelings."

Batman has them out of there in fifteen seconds flat.

3) "Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or did Dick and Tim just lock us in a closet?"

"It's more of a shed."

"Okay, that's not the point I was trying to make, Bruce."

"Yes. Dick and Tim locked us in a shed."

"Thank you. That's what I wanted to know. Do you know why they locked us in a shed?"

Bruce sounds like he's talking through his teeth – very Batman. "Because they have a deathwish."

"Because they seemed very pleased with themselves. Was Tim snickering?"

"He's been spending too much time in Bludhaven. I'll have to see to it that he gets some more training, since he apparently has so much free time on his hands."

It clicks that Bruce isn't talking to him, not really. "Are they listening to us?"

"Probably. I would, if I were them."

An interesting thought. He tries to imagine Bruce at Timothy's age. No wonder Alfred's been grey in every photograph Clark has ever seen. He shakes the thought off. "That still doesn't answer my question."

A note of reluctant amusement colors Bruce's voice. "I believe they're testing a hypothesis."

Okay. The Batkids were weird, Clark knew that already. "Hypothesis of what?"

Bruce sighed. "I'd rather not go into that."

From outside the shed someone – it sounded like Wally – shouted: "Take it off!"

"I'd really rather not go into that."

"There are too many witnesses out there for me to just punch my way free, aren't there?"

"Half of Gotham society and press from all over the country."

"I'm gonna spank those boys of yours."

"Whooo!" Dick cheered from the other side of the door. "Kinky!"

4) "I'm surprised you couldn't free yourselves," Diana says. "The walls weren't that thick."

Batman is standing straight, his shoulders slightly forward so his cape can fall forward around him and cloak his body completely. No one without x-ray vision can see the way his hands are clenched.

"I think I'm still a little shaken from that blast," Superman says.

5) They're sealed in, but it's not enough to stop them – not enough to stop him, not when the walls are just wood and steal and he could punch his way through the roof with a single jump. It's not enough to stop Batman, either, but unless Superman helps him, it'll be enough to slow him down.

Superman isn't interested in going after a couple of muggers, even if they are armed. They'll save for another day. Batman's probably terrified them half to death anyway.

"Bruce," he says, deliberately keeping all sign of sympathy and regret out of his voice. "Bruce, this isn't right."

Batman is cloaked in shadows. "I don't have time to talk, Superman."

"Make the time. Because if you don't talk to me-" He can't afford to feel compassion right now, because too much is at risk. "Bruce, I'll stop you myself."

"If you feel that's what you need to do, you're welcome to try."

"Bruce." He risks taking a step forward, watching for sudden movements or hurled Batarangs. "Bruce, no one should have to outlive his children."

It could go two ways from here. Superman is aware that if he makes one wrong step, speaks one wrong word, it is very likely that Bruce will never talk to him again. And if he's going to make a wrong move, this is it.

"Bruce, neither of those boys would have wanted to see you destroy yourself."

He's braced for a punch, a kick, an exploding Batarang. He wonders, idly, if Bruce has taken to carrying his Kryptonite Ring around with him again. But Bruce doesn't attack.

He just turns in on himself and collapses.

Superman catches him and later he'll pretend he never heard the sobs.

The doors are locked and the room is dark. No one else will ever need to know that Batman is human.





Five Things Raph Never Wanted To Know About His Brothers

1) The fact that Donnie's gay – or bi-curious or metro-sexual or whatever – doesn't actually come as a surprise. Raph's neither stupid nor unobservant. And he could care less about what Donnie jerks off to, although the idea of his computer geek little brother having any kind of sexual thought kind of weirds him out.

But he really could have done without finding out his little brother had the hots for Casey. He could have died happy not knowing that.

"Great," Raph snaps, glaring at the both of them. "Donnie, you gotta get standards."


2) "What?" Leo demanded self-consciously. "I read it for the articles."

"Sure you do," Raph said. "Next time get enough to share."


3) "Man," Mikey sighed wistfully. "I wish I was Jean Grey."

Raph scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm gonna tell myself that it's her powers that make you say that and not some suppressed feminine urges. You shut up."

"Geez, Raph-"

"Shut up!"


4) "I think it was the Turnstone. Its energies were… consuming. I think if I'd been allowed to hold onto it then it would have broken me down completely."

"There's a chance you could be wrong, right?"

"Maybe. It's not like there's a doctor I can go to. But I don't think so. I've run every test I can think of, Raph. The cancer is multiplying itself. I'm dying."


5) "You're gonna be fine. Donnie's coming, all right? He'll patch you up, you'll be fine. Just keep breathing, Leo. Don't die on me. Don't. Don't die for me."





Five Fandoms Yuusuke Never Crossed Over Into

1) Yuusuke nudged Voldemort with the toe of his sneaker. "Seriously? He's been terrorizing your entire society for how long?"

2) "Giant turtles!" Yuusuke peered at them over the top of his shades. "Okay, hey, question. I notice you're all naked. Do you not… you know? I mean, are you guys like eunuchs or something?"

"Donnie, does eunuch mean what I think it means?"

"Yes, Raph."

"I'm gonna kill him."

3) Yuusuke was vaguely aware that things were going badly all around them, but he wasn't too worried about it yet. No one was dying, nothing had blown up, and frankly, as long as Wonder Woman kept breathing so heavily, he wasn't going to be good for much anyway.

4) "No, no." Yuusuke waved a hand impatiently. "It's not the 'alien' part that's bothering me. It's the 'hockey playing' that comes before it and the 'ducks' that comes after it. What the hell kind of Mickey Mouse galaxy are you guys from anyway?"

5) "Stargate, huh?" Yuusuke examined the metal ring curiously, and the bemused foursome that had just walked through it with a critical eye. "Is that anything like a dimensional gate? Because, been there, done that."





Five Lovers Kuwabara Never Had

1) You couldn't call Urameshi a lover, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that Kuwabara would have to kill himself. Urameshi was a one-night stand, a lapse of judgment, a drunken indiscretion, a huge. Fucking. Mistake. Even if he did give amazing head.

2) He still thinks of Yukina with a fondness that cuts the air out of his lungs and makes him ache. She was perfect and sweet, gentle and caring, everything that he'd always thought he'd wanted. He'd never done more than kiss her cheek or hold her hand, but sometimes he thinks he loved her more than anyone else in the world.

Sometimes he knows he's kidding himself.

3) Kurama's touch is strong, his skin sleek, his body firm and unyielding beneath Kuwabara's. His hair slides across Kuwabara's fingers like strands of silk, and when Kuwabara tugs, his head turns into the first kiss he's ever had the courage to initiate himself.

4) Kuwabara and Keiko have simultaneously too much and not enough in common to be friends. Both of their lives seem to revolve around Yuusuke's sudden comings and goings. Both of them feel like they're starting over every time Yuusuke comes back. Both of them are left in limbo when he leaves. Neither one of them has the ability to follow him. Both of them know they've been treated badly. Neither one is going to cut Urameshi like the bad habit he is. It's not enough to keep him from feeling guilty when he leaves Keiko's bed, but it's just enough to make him hope that one day, when Urameshi makes an unscheduled appearance, he might catch them.

5) He's tried to think about what Kurama could see in the tiny little runt, but Kuwabara can't get his mind around the idea of Hiei as a lover. It almost breaks his mind and puts him off his food for a couple days. For starts – short much? In Youko form, Hiei'd be… well, actually, he'd be somewhat conveniently positioned, wouldn't he? Not that he was ever going to think that thought through to its conclusion. And besides, Hiei was cold and distant and nasty and rude and short. Kuwabara didn't get it. Kuwabara didn't want to, because that would mean he'd spent way too much time thinking about it.