Letting off a little steam.

Dear Prince of Lies George Bush,

I'm filled with mind-numbering horror so pleased to see that it appears you will be our president again next term! Rest assured that I hate everything about you believe you will do a good job fucking us all over protecting us from those administration members evil sons of bitches, whosoever they may be. Unlike many of the people you claim to represent I do not believe in you fully. I believe that your policy of relegating women to roles of domesticity in the guise cause of moral superiority is a brave and necessary act you misogynistic son of a bitch.

I will be quite content to sit back and watch you run this country into the ground over the next four years, content from my new home in fucking Canada, you asshole to leave things in your capable hands. It's not like you can make things worse than they already are anyway. And hey, I for one fully believe that concentration camps, torture and warfare are what America should be known for standing against.

I look on with nausea and disbelief forward to seeing the country change under your incompetent strong and guiding hand. I know you will protect us from all the evils in the world, like liberalism, independence, free-will and terrorists who attacked after you became President oh He Who Will Protect Us.

Best of luck. We're all going to need it.

Kelly



*pants*



Dear Canada,

20-something female, hard-working, college-educated, polite and open-minded, seeks lifestyle of freedom and non-oppression with her northern neighbors. Will work for civil liberties and peace of mind.

Please respond at soonest,
Kelly