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Apr. 11th, 2004 04:03 amI'm sure she didn't wake up one morning and decide "Hey. I'm going to write something so fucking fantastic that Kelly Whatshername in Richmond fucking Virginia goes completely batshit." But she did - write something so fantastic, that is. And I certainly did go batshit. Three thirty Easter morning and I finally finish - finish what's there anyway, because there's a sequel coming, eventually, god, I HOPE there's a sequel coming because anything else would just be fucking heartless.
Three-thirty in the morning, Easter morning, and I'm so worked up, so caught up in this universe, this world she's made, so completely in love with the characters and their story and their dilemma - and fuck, it's a hell of a dilemma - that I read the last page, the last word there is to read, and my stomach's so jumpy I could throw up and my hands are shaking and even though I have to be up at 8 o'clock in the morning and I'm going to really, really, really hate myself tomorrow when the alarm goes off I just want there to be more. Because I'm caught up in the tension, and in the pain, and the next thing I know I'm walking laps around the apartment complex in the rain - and it was fucking pouring, let me tell you - trying to wear myself out so I'll sleep for at least an hour or two.
And it's great because I haven't been so compelled by something I've read in a long, long time.
Maybe it's attachment to the characters, who are real and believable and a little fallible. Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe I'm hormonal, I don't know. But at three-thirty I was standing in the rain, wired out of my skull and not at all surprised to find myself crying. Wired. Not out of my head, but so completely inside it.
Who the fuck needs drugs, right? When you've got whole other lives, entire other worlds and it's as real as you make it. Not some paranoid delusion, or an escape from reality, but a way to just feel things you might not feel in your everyday life. Things you might want to feel, or need to feel, but wouldn't.
Entire lives.
And maybe you're reading this and thinking I'm postal. But really, it's just incredible. And I hope that somewhere, just one person in the whole fucking world will one day read something I write and be a fraction as affected as I am right now.
And I hope to God she writes that sequel.
Three-thirty in the morning, Easter morning, and I'm so worked up, so caught up in this universe, this world she's made, so completely in love with the characters and their story and their dilemma - and fuck, it's a hell of a dilemma - that I read the last page, the last word there is to read, and my stomach's so jumpy I could throw up and my hands are shaking and even though I have to be up at 8 o'clock in the morning and I'm going to really, really, really hate myself tomorrow when the alarm goes off I just want there to be more. Because I'm caught up in the tension, and in the pain, and the next thing I know I'm walking laps around the apartment complex in the rain - and it was fucking pouring, let me tell you - trying to wear myself out so I'll sleep for at least an hour or two.
And it's great because I haven't been so compelled by something I've read in a long, long time.
Maybe it's attachment to the characters, who are real and believable and a little fallible. Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe I'm hormonal, I don't know. But at three-thirty I was standing in the rain, wired out of my skull and not at all surprised to find myself crying. Wired. Not out of my head, but so completely inside it.
Who the fuck needs drugs, right? When you've got whole other lives, entire other worlds and it's as real as you make it. Not some paranoid delusion, or an escape from reality, but a way to just feel things you might not feel in your everyday life. Things you might want to feel, or need to feel, but wouldn't.
Entire lives.
And maybe you're reading this and thinking I'm postal. But really, it's just incredible. And I hope that somewhere, just one person in the whole fucking world will one day read something I write and be a fraction as affected as I am right now.
And I hope to God she writes that sequel.
