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Books Kelly has read this week
Oct. 24th, 2002 05:17 pm#1 Lamb by Christopher Moore
READ THIS! but only if you're open-minded. Allegedly a lost gospel detailing the early years of Joshua of Nazareth, written by his best friend Levi, Lamb is half-humor, half-tragedy. I laughed my head off, and then cried myself sick. I found myself rather hoping it had gone something like Christopher Moore made up, if only because it seems like Levi's presence made the end result much more bearable. The ending wasn't what I had hoped for - but it wasn't what I expected either, and the characters remain painfully human throughout the novel. Six year old Levi and Joshua are adorable.
Excerpt: Two days after I had walked away, I rang the gong outside the monastery and the little hatch opened to revealthe face of a newly shaven monk. "What?" he said.
"The villagers ate our camels," I said.
"Go away. Your nostrils flare in an unpleasant manner and your soul is somewhat lumpy."
"Joshua, let me in. I don't have anywhere to go."
"I can't just let you in," Josh whispered. "You have to wait three days like everyone else." Then, loudly, and obviously for someone else's benefit, he said, "You appear to be infested by Bedouins! Now go away!" And he slammed the hatch.
I stood there. And waited. In a few minutes, he opened the hatch.
"Infested by Bedouins?" I said.
"Give me a break. I'm new. Did you bring food and water to last you?"
"Yes, the toothless woman sold me some dried camel meat. There was a special."
"That's got to be unclean," Josh said.
"Bacon, Josh, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Sorry. I'll try to sneak some tea and a blanket out to you, but it won't be right away."
"Then Gaspar will let me back in?"
"He was perplexed why you left in the first place. He said if anyone needed to learn some discipline, well, you know. There'll be punishment, I think."
"Sorry I left you."
"You didn't." He grinned, looking sillier than normal with his two toned-head. "I'll tell you one thing I've learned here already."
"What's that?"
"When I'm in charge, if someone knocks, they will be able to come in. Making someone who is seeking comfort stand out in the cold is a crock of rancid yak butter."
"Amen," I said.
Josh slammed the little hatch, obviously the prescribed way of closing it. I stood and wondered how Joshua, when he finally learned how to be the Messiah, would work the phrase "crock of rancid yak butter" into a sermon. Just what we Jews need, I thought, more dietary restrictions.
#2 Counterfeit Son by Elaine Marie Alphin
A YA novel with an unusual plot. Cameron Miller has spent most of his life locked in the cellar of his fathers house, trying not to listen as his father abuses and murders the boys he abducted fromtheir families, and hoping that when it's over, his father won't remember he's down there. When his father is killed, Cameron takes a desperate bid at buying his freedom by impersonating one of his father's victims, a boy named Neil Lacey who looked almost exactly like Cameron.
This one was, good, if depressing at times. I'm still not certain I like how the ending worked out. It may have been something of a cop-out. Then again, it may have just made the whole thing sadder. I'm still undecided.
Excerpt: He looked up slowly, and Neil's father held out one hand, still holding Stevie in his other arm. "Come on," he said gently.
Cameron took the hand and climbed unsteadily out of the boat, shivering from the cold water still sloshing across the deck. The broken bone in his leg that had healed badly gave way under him so that he stumbled forward. Another hand caught him and Cameron looked up to see Detective Simmons. He flinched instinctively, but the man's face didn't look as hard as he remembered.
# 3 Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward.
This is the second time I've read this novel and it's still as funny as it was the first time. To make a long story short, the world's become an entirely too pleasant place to be, and as the forces of light and purity grow stronger, the cosmic balance is threatened. Now the forces of darkness have exactly one hope - a handful of semi-competant thieves and liars.
Just plain funny. I wish I owned this book but I can't find it anywhere. It's not a heavyread - something you can get through in a day, easily. Best read on a rainy afternoon when you don't have to go to work.
Excerpt: "Gnomes," muttered Valerie in disgust. "Gnift Gnomes."
"You look like you've seen some un-nifty times, humans," piped up the bearded gnome again. "But that's all right! We'll get you new clothes, all nifty and bright and happy, and we'll be your nifty friends, and pretty soon you'll be nifty just like us!" He beamed at the stricken party, which abruptly clapped panicked heels to their mounts' flanks. Exceot for Blackmail, of course, who rode out of the clearing with the greatest dignity, even in his disgust, his warhorse's hooves completely annhilating several mushroom houses. The renegades raced out of the clearing, little cries of "Hey! Come back, nifty humans! We havne't even had the nifty party games yet! There's pin the tail on the Nifty and and bobbing for Niftyfruits..." The terrible sickly sweet music followed, ringing in their ears.
Sam halted a few feet away from the clearing, staring at a huge, half-rotted dead tree. Blackmail, on his horse, stomped up to him and stopped. They looked at each other. They looked at the tree. Then, with a gesture, Blackmail dismounted, pushed Sam on his horse aside, and unslung his massive black sword. He hefted it, then swung with mighty force at the trunk, cleaving it off at its base.
It creaked and fell, slow and unstoppable, crashing down with a thunderous noise upon the village. The disgusting piping of music stopped. With a satisfied nod, the two men headed off on their horses into the forest night.
#4 The Book of Jhereg by Steven Brust.
A fantasy anthology comprised of the first three of Steven Brusts novels - Jhereg, Yendi and Teckla. Vlad Taltos is the funniest assassin I've ever met, and just about the most moral, too. Skilled in witchcraft in a society that favors sorcery, and human in a society dominated by the Dragaerans, Vlad is always the outsider, especially in his own home. Jhereg is my favorite of the three books, and while it's not the first, chronologically, it's a very good starting point for anyone who's interested in the series.
Morrolan rocks. That is all.
Excerpt: It is sad but true that there are a strictly limited number of times when wakig up with the thought "Hey, I'm alive!" is really astonishing. I hadn't quite hit the limit yet, so I had the obligatory reaction, followed by "Dear Verra, I hurt."
They're all very different novels, but I enjoyed Lamb the most. I think I'd recommend The Book of Jhereg to more people, however, just because it's somewhat less controvertial. Either way, go read. Now. S'an order.
READ THIS! but only if you're open-minded. Allegedly a lost gospel detailing the early years of Joshua of Nazareth, written by his best friend Levi, Lamb is half-humor, half-tragedy. I laughed my head off, and then cried myself sick. I found myself rather hoping it had gone something like Christopher Moore made up, if only because it seems like Levi's presence made the end result much more bearable. The ending wasn't what I had hoped for - but it wasn't what I expected either, and the characters remain painfully human throughout the novel. Six year old Levi and Joshua are adorable.
Excerpt: Two days after I had walked away, I rang the gong outside the monastery and the little hatch opened to revealthe face of a newly shaven monk. "What?" he said.
"The villagers ate our camels," I said.
"Go away. Your nostrils flare in an unpleasant manner and your soul is somewhat lumpy."
"Joshua, let me in. I don't have anywhere to go."
"I can't just let you in," Josh whispered. "You have to wait three days like everyone else." Then, loudly, and obviously for someone else's benefit, he said, "You appear to be infested by Bedouins! Now go away!" And he slammed the hatch.
I stood there. And waited. In a few minutes, he opened the hatch.
"Infested by Bedouins?" I said.
"Give me a break. I'm new. Did you bring food and water to last you?"
"Yes, the toothless woman sold me some dried camel meat. There was a special."
"That's got to be unclean," Josh said.
"Bacon, Josh, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Sorry. I'll try to sneak some tea and a blanket out to you, but it won't be right away."
"Then Gaspar will let me back in?"
"He was perplexed why you left in the first place. He said if anyone needed to learn some discipline, well, you know. There'll be punishment, I think."
"Sorry I left you."
"You didn't." He grinned, looking sillier than normal with his two toned-head. "I'll tell you one thing I've learned here already."
"What's that?"
"When I'm in charge, if someone knocks, they will be able to come in. Making someone who is seeking comfort stand out in the cold is a crock of rancid yak butter."
"Amen," I said.
Josh slammed the little hatch, obviously the prescribed way of closing it. I stood and wondered how Joshua, when he finally learned how to be the Messiah, would work the phrase "crock of rancid yak butter" into a sermon. Just what we Jews need, I thought, more dietary restrictions.
#2 Counterfeit Son by Elaine Marie Alphin
A YA novel with an unusual plot. Cameron Miller has spent most of his life locked in the cellar of his fathers house, trying not to listen as his father abuses and murders the boys he abducted fromtheir families, and hoping that when it's over, his father won't remember he's down there. When his father is killed, Cameron takes a desperate bid at buying his freedom by impersonating one of his father's victims, a boy named Neil Lacey who looked almost exactly like Cameron.
This one was, good, if depressing at times. I'm still not certain I like how the ending worked out. It may have been something of a cop-out. Then again, it may have just made the whole thing sadder. I'm still undecided.
Excerpt: He looked up slowly, and Neil's father held out one hand, still holding Stevie in his other arm. "Come on," he said gently.
Cameron took the hand and climbed unsteadily out of the boat, shivering from the cold water still sloshing across the deck. The broken bone in his leg that had healed badly gave way under him so that he stumbled forward. Another hand caught him and Cameron looked up to see Detective Simmons. He flinched instinctively, but the man's face didn't look as hard as he remembered.
# 3 Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward.
This is the second time I've read this novel and it's still as funny as it was the first time. To make a long story short, the world's become an entirely too pleasant place to be, and as the forces of light and purity grow stronger, the cosmic balance is threatened. Now the forces of darkness have exactly one hope - a handful of semi-competant thieves and liars.
Just plain funny. I wish I owned this book but I can't find it anywhere. It's not a heavyread - something you can get through in a day, easily. Best read on a rainy afternoon when you don't have to go to work.
Excerpt: "Gnomes," muttered Valerie in disgust. "Gnift Gnomes."
"You look like you've seen some un-nifty times, humans," piped up the bearded gnome again. "But that's all right! We'll get you new clothes, all nifty and bright and happy, and we'll be your nifty friends, and pretty soon you'll be nifty just like us!" He beamed at the stricken party, which abruptly clapped panicked heels to their mounts' flanks. Exceot for Blackmail, of course, who rode out of the clearing with the greatest dignity, even in his disgust, his warhorse's hooves completely annhilating several mushroom houses. The renegades raced out of the clearing, little cries of "Hey! Come back, nifty humans! We havne't even had the nifty party games yet! There's pin the tail on the Nifty and and bobbing for Niftyfruits..." The terrible sickly sweet music followed, ringing in their ears.
Sam halted a few feet away from the clearing, staring at a huge, half-rotted dead tree. Blackmail, on his horse, stomped up to him and stopped. They looked at each other. They looked at the tree. Then, with a gesture, Blackmail dismounted, pushed Sam on his horse aside, and unslung his massive black sword. He hefted it, then swung with mighty force at the trunk, cleaving it off at its base.
It creaked and fell, slow and unstoppable, crashing down with a thunderous noise upon the village. The disgusting piping of music stopped. With a satisfied nod, the two men headed off on their horses into the forest night.
#4 The Book of Jhereg by Steven Brust.
A fantasy anthology comprised of the first three of Steven Brusts novels - Jhereg, Yendi and Teckla. Vlad Taltos is the funniest assassin I've ever met, and just about the most moral, too. Skilled in witchcraft in a society that favors sorcery, and human in a society dominated by the Dragaerans, Vlad is always the outsider, especially in his own home. Jhereg is my favorite of the three books, and while it's not the first, chronologically, it's a very good starting point for anyone who's interested in the series.
Morrolan rocks. That is all.
Excerpt: It is sad but true that there are a strictly limited number of times when wakig up with the thought "Hey, I'm alive!" is really astonishing. I hadn't quite hit the limit yet, so I had the obligatory reaction, followed by "Dear Verra, I hurt."
They're all very different novels, but I enjoyed Lamb the most. I think I'd recommend The Book of Jhereg to more people, however, just because it's somewhat less controvertial. Either way, go read. Now. S'an order.
