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Five things the TMNT did to hook Splinter up with Genkai.

5) "Issue number one on the agenda," Donatello announced. "Find out if she's opposed to inter-species relationships."

"Her ex-boyfriend is a demon, currently burning in hell," Yuusuke offered.

"Excellent! Open-minded-ness is key." Donatello marked off the first item.

4) "Looks like demons," Raphael said.

"Out of our league," Michealangelo added.

"We need a better idea of what we're up against," Leonardo agreed.

"We should go to the source." Donatello snapped his fingers. "Sensei! Your old friend, Genkai! You should consult with her. In fact, I think a face-to-face meeting is best. We'll arrange to fly you out to Japan so we can get first hand information on the demon threat!"

Splinter regarded each of his sons in turn. "They are teenagers wearing Halloween masks."

3) "I don't know, guys." Donatello watched form the doorway as Michelangelo tooted cheerfully on the harmonica. "Genkai doesn't strike me as the type to appreciate a singing telegram."

2) Genkai stepped out onto the porch to meditate and spotted the folded note perched on the railing, weighted down with a ribbon-wrapped stone. She cast a quick eye around to see if she was about to have company, but she was reasonably content that except for Yukina, working in the garden, and Hiei, doing whatever it was he did in those trees all day, she was alone.

The paper was plain notebook paper, the kind Yuusuke and Kuwabara regularly left all over the place after their "study sessions" devolved into paper fights. The handwriting was unfamiliar.

"Dear Genkai," she read. "I like you. Do you like me? Circle yes or no."

1) "Internet dating service?" Splinter repeated. "I never signed up for any such service."

Meanwhile: In Japan

"Internet dating service?" Genkai repeated.

Five things Kuwabara did upon learning that Hiei is Yukina's brother

5) Yuusuke frowned. "I think he's hyperventilating."

4) Five days later, Kuwabara was still saying it didn't make sense. "She's sweet!" he wailed.

"And short," Yuusuke said. "Hiei's short. Also, she's searching for her long-lost brother. Just like Hiei is searching for his long-lost sister. Funny how no one picked up on that. Heh."

Kurama elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

3) Yuusuke gagged slightly. "Dude. You're choking me."

Kuwabara leaned against him harder, his forearm nearly crushing Yuusuke's windpipe. "Take it back!"

2) Kuwabara flopped backwards on the couch, staring at the ceiling. "So, for the last two years, I've been hitting on Hiei's little sister."

"Yeah," Yuusuke said.

"The little sister he underwent agonizing surgery to find. The little sister he journeyed the Makai for."

"Yeah." Yuusuke rubbed the back of his neck.

"So why aren't I dead?"

1) "So let me get this straight."

Yuusuke slumped in his seat. Kurama glared at him and continued. "You managed to let slip that Yukina is Hiei's sister. Okay, no big deal. We've discussed it before. But you let slip in front of Kuwabara."

"He knew Hiei had a sister!"

"But not who she was!" Kurama gave him a stern look. "We agreed that as long as Hiei wanted it a secret, we wouldn't tell anyone who didn't already know!"

Yuusuke shook a finger in Kurama's face. "Don't make it sound so noble, dude. We just didn't want to deal with the fallout."

Kurama ignored him. "Then, compounding the initial blunder and adding insult to injury, you mention that both of us knew and were deliberating keeping it a secret from him."

"I didn't put it quite like that…" Yuusuke wilted under Kurama's furious look. "but, basically. Yeah."

Heaving a heavy sigh, Kurama finally sat. "Well, this explains a lot. The Nair in my shampoo. How the local high school girls suddenly have my daily schedule. Why there are pictures of me half-nude appearing all over the local cram center. The letter to my mother asking for my hand in marriage."

Yuusuke grinned. "That was a nice touch."

"She thought it was very sweet." Kurama quirked a small grin. "She said she approved of my polite young man."

Five things Michelangelo did after he stole Leonardo's sword

5) "Arrrrr! I'm a pirate!"

Donatello didn't look up from the scientific journal he was reading. "Pirates didn't carry katanas, for the most part. And if Leo catches you goofing off like that, he'll skin you. Put it back."

4) "Has anyone seen my katana?" Leo leaned against the side of the entertainment system. "It's gone from my room."

Raph hit pause on the Playstation controller. "Wasn't Mikey looking for the pizza slicer just a minute ago?"

3) "Come on, Donnie!"

Raphael paused with one foot in the room and took in the tableau before him. Donnie had his back against the wall and was fending their younger brother off with both hands. Michelangelo was carrying Leo's katanas, a sequined tutu, and a bag of apples. Raph shook his head. "Whatever you two are up to, I think you should get a room. Or a therapist. Maybe both."

Donatello shot him a glare worthy of Leo himself. "Mikey wants me to be the practice dummy for his knife-throwing act."

"Not a practice dummy!" Mike held up the tutu. "The lovely assistant, Donalina!"

Raph grinned. "It's your color, Don."

Don crossed his arms. "Show Raph what you're planning to use for throwing knives, Mike."

"Lookit!" Mike held up the katana. "I already know how to use throwing knives, so I thought this would be more of a challenge."

Okay, that was a bad idea on so many levels. "Mike, Donnie's our medic. If you cut his head off, there's no one here who can sew it back on."

2) "It slices! It dices! It-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

1) "What do you think?" Michelangelo spun around and struck a pose. "Convincing, no?"

Donatello made a face. "You're going to be Leo for Halloween? I dunno, Mike. I think the, uh, subtleties of that particular costume may be lost on the general populace."

"Too in-jokey," Raph added.