Five Things Responses part 4

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For blueutopiah



Five things Hiei said when he found Kurama trying on an evening gown.

1) "That scarlet clashes with your hair."

2) "If you think I'm going to zip you up, you're sadly mistaken."

3) "…You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"

4) "Suddenly a lot of Urameshi's muttered asides make sense to me."

5) "So this is what happens when people sleep with the idiot."





Five things Kuwabara never wanted to know about Yusuke.

1) "Nine inches," Yuusuke proclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest and grinning.

2) "Is it just me, Kuwabara, or did Toguro-aniki seem unnecessarily affectionate to you?"

3) "Have I ever told you I have a thing for redheads?"

4) "Well, Keiko always says it's not really fair, since I'm like, a zillion times stronger than she is, and even handcuffs don't really help when you can just, you know, tear the headboard off – and man, was she pissed about that – "

5) "They're not dolls, they're my little pretties! And they hate you for making me sad!"



For scheherezhad



Five Things Hiei and Kuwabara Actually Agree On

1) "Yukina deserves better!"

Kuwabara let a vicious, ugly little smile show. "Which one of us, exactly, are you talking about?"

2) It was right after the fight, when they weren't sure how bad the damage was and there was still the chance that Kurama wouldn't make it. Kuwabara had left the first aid tent half sick and mostly furious with absolutely no way to vent his rage, so he slipped out of the arena and took his frustrations out of the trees and boulders that dotted the landscape.

At some point he notices that the reiki he's been feeling for a while now is just a few meters away, and he glances up to see Hiei, standing over a mound of rubble, fists clenched, breathing heavily.

They don't ever talk about it.

3) Hiei crossed his arms and sneered. "This is all your fault, Urameshi."

"Somebody shoot me," Kuwabara groaned. "I'm about to agree with the shrimp."

4) Kurama and Yuusuke were both, well, overly romantic at times, is the best way to phrase it that Kuwabara could think of. Sometimes they both got caught up in the fucking tragedy of the situation.

Kuwabara can't bring himself to sympathize with a bunch of guys who let their own personal emotional baggage blind them to the fact that life isn't easy for anyone else either, people who took their pain and anger out on their fellow humans; the same crime they were condemning humanity for. Hypocrisy of the worst sort.

Hiei, much to Kuwabara's eternal aggravation, agreed with him. On Hiei's part it had less to do with any moral objections, and more to do with the fact that he thought Sensui's Seven whined entirely too much.

5) Kuwabara spat blood on the ground and checked to make sure all his teeth were still accounted for. "No more letting Urameshi talk to the powerful demon lords."

Hiei grunted in agreement from somewhere behind him.





Five Times John Left Rodney Speechless

1) "What? I think Radek's hot. Like you don't. Can you imagine how big his IQ is?"

2) "I'm sorry, Rodney."

3) Rodney knew about the crisis on P3X-573, knew about the Genii taking the Council of Elders – a nice bunch of old guys who had traded them large quantities of something very much not-like sweet potatoes for the equivalent of some plastic beads and seemed pleased with the arrangement – and threatening them if Atlantis didn't comply with their demands. But it's not till afterwards, when most of the Genii, two of the Elders and three of their own people are dead, that Rodney finds out what the Genii's demands were. Not that he's surprised – he is the greatest mind in two galaxies, after all – but there's part of him that whispers this didn't have to be this way. It's an annoying part of him, the same part that makes him jump in front of guns aimed at his friends, a part that he's pretty sure didn't exist before he met John.

He's waiting for them when they come back, John, Ronan, Teyla and a dozen Marines – Rodney had been told in unequivocal terms that he would be staying behind this time. They're all tired and grim, but overall victorious, even Teyla who hates fighting other humans, and Rodney can almost convince himself that everything's normal until he meets John's eyes and the welcome dies on his tongue.

Atlantis has a "we will never negotiate with terrorists" rule. It's not official, per se. Elizabeth is all about negotiating. But the terrorists always seem to want Rodney.

And John will not negotiate.

One day, Rodney will decide how he feels about that. For now, he goes to make sure his team is all right.

4) Teasing John about his obvious puppy-dog crush on Teyla has become Rodney's own personal pastime, made challenging by the fact that John has started taking it upon himself to refute every single charge Rodney makes. It's unproductive, but it distracts him from thoughts of their imminent deaths at the hands of the cannibalistic space vampires, so Rodney figures it all works out in the end. And anyway, Radek's got a book going on how long it takes for John to break down and confess his repressed attraction, and Rodney's got two Hershey's Bars on it being this week.

So when John grabs him by the shoulders, shoves him into the wall and kisses him like – well, like he's a) trying to shut Rodney up and b) trying to make a point – Rodney's satisfaction is only partially from the fact that he's going to be getting some very, very soon.

5) "You know Chaya could shapeshift? And she was really good with accents. She could say "ZedPM" just the way I liked it."





Five Things Tim wishes Bart Had Not Said in Front of Kon

1) "Tim, listen, I-"

"Tim!Thereyouare!" Kid Flash skidded to a stop in front of Tim, forcing Kon to lean back or have his nose broken. "Hi! I've been looking everywhere for you! You left your bra and makeup case in my room the other night and I knew you'd need it before you went to visit Nightwing. Bye!" He shoved the case into Tim's arms and vanished in a red and yellow blur.

Kon rubbed a hand over the back of his head and stared very, very firmly at the floor. "Maybe I should wait to have this conversation with you."

2) "If only Batman and Superman got along as well as you two! Wait…"

3) "Kon, what are repressed homosexual urges, and why does Tim think you have them?"

4) "Tim, you're right. I think Kon can pull off the bald look."

5) "You know, you were right! Having sex with a shapeshifter is even more fun than fighting one!"